Emotions: Instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.
I have been dating around a bit lately. If you follow my philosophies, you know that any encounter I have with a human I am consciously tuning into what I can learn from them. They are essentially a mirror of me. If we vibrationally aligned on an energetic frequency, It’s probably for a rad reason of realization& & growth for myself!
So after this one date.. I go deep. For whatever reason, this union shook ME UP. It took me into a deep rabbit hole that was so curious & foreign to me. When I am studying something & in the process of understanding a concept, I go MIA for days, if not weeks at times. SO! Here is what I realized..
I found myself around this certain time making certain choices that were a bit out of the norm for me. I’m all about getting jiggy & far out, but I noticed a sequence of actions that were just.. WEIRD for me! To make this short, I realized that the reason for my actions was because I was sad.. However, I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE I WAS SAD. I literally had to sit down & logically walk myself through a conversation as to why I was currently doing what I was doing. Then it hit me.. OMG, “I think I’m sad…”
My mind was blown. WTF is wrong with me? Isn’t It a normal thing to know your emotions quick & obviously? I’m normally a happy human full of life & zest, so you would think the counter emotions of happy would be blindly obvious, but, they weren’t. I am now in a state of rebirth & self examination.
I googled what it meant to be emotionally detached. I fit the description. It can basically be a defense mechanism for a young child who has been emotionally neglected to build up walls & barriers emotionally, until they get to the point where they are almost just… numb? oblivious? A over masculine & logical stoic? Sounds like me. I can handle any emotional situation like a boss, because I am just incredibly detached from the whole situation. “Seeing it for what it is” with out the cloud of emotions. I have seen this to be true in many aspects of my life. It does serve me in a lot of cases, however as I dive more & more into the rabbit hole of the Divine Feminine & Divine Masculine, I am becoming bluntly aware that I am out of balance with these magical & divine unions of all creation.
It is the Yin-Yang. I was wayyyyy too yang. Too in my masculine energy. This is repelling the things that I desire to manifest most. It is in fact, the Feminine energy that all is manifested in. The moon. The mother. The all trusting & knowing. The queen on her thrown sitting in her worth & feelings. Setting boundaries based on her feelings. She’s aware of what she feels, & she plays alchemy with these emotions, she is a MANIFESTOR, she is an embodiment of the feminine god! She lets go of all expectation & opens herself up to divine truth, intuition, realization & revelations. (MEDITATION)
This side of me as been blocked! I hadn’t realized just how blocked until this one date.. This one beautiful & destined date to teach me something MAJOR! It’s so beautiful how God shows up through humans & just in life!
My mind is blown, & I feel much excitement continuing on this path of self growth & renewal. This is the game-changer that I’ve desired. Now that I am aware of how I feel, I am now in tune with my intuition, with my higher self. I don’t have to be a dog chasing it’s tail with “Logic”, I can let my emotions be my guide of what is truly in alignment with my higher good!
I love you! Can you relate with this? Maybe this is why I have realized past Narcissistic tendencies within me! (Youtube video on that topic if your interested)
xo, Jo B. 💋